Compassion in Conflict
by Christina Bledsoe
Many children find themselves in trouble for lying or stealing or hitting their siblings. While I was often guilty of those offenses, my earliest memories include being reprimanded for talking back, arguing, or what my parents referred to as “having a smart mouth.” When I disagreed, witnessed an injustice, or simply wanted to be heard, I ran my mouth. Those who know me would say not much has changed since I was a child as I still struggle with submission and keeping the thoughts in my head from leaking out of my mouth.
As a Christian who strives to mature in faith, I am regularly confronted and grieved when my behavior conflicts with the nature of Jesus. For help in living more like Jesus, I went to the best conflict-resolution book ever written, the Bible, to discover how Jesus managed, and encouraged his followers to manage, conflict:
Start with Love: Matthew 22:37-39
Love Jesus, love others. Is it really that simple? In a word – yes. Even during times of conflict, Christians are called to love one another and show compassion.
Avoid Harsh Words: Ephesians 4:29 and Proverbs 15:1
Words hurt, even after an apology is offered. Gossip (unwholesome talk) builds up no one.
Add Humility: Ephesians 4:2-3
The Apostle Paul writes to Christians urging them to be “completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.”
Seek Peace, not a Win: Romans 12:18
Even when you are enthusiastic about an issue, showing compassion means seeking peace and setting pride aside.
Forgive & Pray: Matthew 6:15, Matthew 5:44
See the person behind the offense. Recognize they are broken, just like you, and seek to forgive as you would like to be forgiven.
I like to win. I like to win Scrabble and Uno games. Sadly, I still like to feel like I have won at the end of a conflict. Being a Christian does not exempt us from opportunities for conflict. Some would argue being a Christian increases the likelihood you will deal with conflict.
If you are facing someone who angers or challenges you, I invite you to follow the example of Jesus and see compassion in conflict with a heart that seeks the good in others. Showing compassion in conflict is not weakness—it is strength rooted in Christ’s example.
